This photo was taken about three seconds before the “gender reveal canons” went off.
It’s a girl.
In case you were wondering…
I don’t really know what it means yet – to have a daughter. Perhaps, no mother knows what it means, until her daughter hands her the daughter of her own, and the family loop closes – if only for a moment.
My grandma was hoping for a girl. For my sake, she said. It’s better for the mother, she said, to have at least one daughter. She had three children – two sons, and one daughter. One of her sons lives in another city – hundreds of miles away. The other son lives in another country – thousands of miles away. Her daughter comes to visit every day, and brings groceries.
Me – I wanted a girl too. Maybe, because in the face of uncertainty, we crave the familiar – anything familiar. I remember this every time I step into a Starbucks in Moscow, or McDonald’s in Paris. Familiar setup, familiar smells. Everything is different, but at least this one thing is the same.
It’s the illusion of control – that safety raft that humans invent, and cling to, when chaos is about to strike. When everything is about to change.
Besides… I wouldn’t know what to do with a tiny penis.