Not New Year, NEW me.
Not New Year, OLD me.
2018 was the year my body changed as never before.
I have not written much about my pregnancy. Mostly, because after the miscarriage, I was afraid to really acknowledge it. When people asked if I was getting excited, I told them “I’ll believe it when I see it”. I was too afraid to celebrate the baby growing inside me, until the baby was safely out.
No baby shower. No baby registry. No breastfeeding classes. No reading up on the sleep training. No researching of the best bassinet.
I woke up multiple times throughout the pregnancy, screaming after a dream of yet another miscarriage, or stillbirth. Crying.
Italian would console me. Reassure me that the baby was fine. Of course, I knew that he had no way of knowing that. No one did.
She is finally here.
She is perfect.
One of my goals for 2019 is to continue telling the story of this expanding-shrinking-ever-changing body.