forget holiday wish lists – this is what obstacle racers ACTUALLY want

By SOLO

Norm Koch, the infamous race course director, posted the following on Facebook last week:

Anyone have any obstacle wants or wishes for 2015? Something that I can try and add to the 2015 season? We have a bunch of new stuff this year, but i wanted to here from everyone who may have an idea they want to share. Your idea may help spark another idea or maybe we could use it? Spartan has retained a warehouse for R&D. It’s going to be a cool playground. I can’t promise anything but i want to challenge the shit out of everyone. 🙂

As my good friend Matthew says: “Ask, and ye shall receive”. Here are the obstacles the racers want to see in 2015 racing season:

AGILITY

  • gut checks a la BattleFrog sternum checker

  • downhill tire ride
  • zip line
  • crawl tunnels
  • door knob traverse wall with no foot holds (preferably after a bucket brigade)
  • Norm’s rod connected to monkey bars or a cargo net monkey bar
  • moving targets for spear throw
  • the Weaver

WATER

  • long swim
  • water slide
  • peg traverse wall over water
  • extra long balance beam or log walk over water
  • brick swim (yes, just what it sounds like – swim with a brick)
  • downhill barbwire crawl into the… you guessed it! – water
  • floating platforms to jump over – in a straight line or staggered
  • ice bath, followed by jump over fire, then another ice bath
  • jump water pit to hanging cargo nets to downward monkey bars

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  • inverted frame cargo net suspended over water
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  • or this:

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STRENGTH

  • weighted lunge loop
  • weighted monkey bars
  • prowler sled pushing stations
  • bucket carry across balance beams
  • uphill barbwire crawl with a sandbag
  • longer distance atlas carry
  • log carry through a mud pit
  • sit-up stations with a sandbag press

AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR

  • spider wall
  • vertical pole traverse

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  • Olympic rings on pegs

SMART ASS

  • underwater cage crawl
  • a maze
  • LEGO fire walk

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  • prove Fermat’s last theorem
  • a shooting range (bring your own rifle)
  • run the entire race with an egg in your mouth, and if it breaks – 1,000 burpees
  • Tough Mudder’s Pole Dancer over fire

  • Tyrolean traverse over an alligator pit

Other suggestions included adding a haiku memorization challenge, and formalizing the Devil’s Trifecta (finisher t-shirts featuring a picture of Norm Koch with horns and holding a lightening bolt).

And, of course, this gem:

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You guys are sooo twisted. 🙂

Any other wild ideas? Leave them in the comments. Oh, and let’s share the hell out of this post, shall we? I, for one, would love to see an alligator pit make an appearance in Vermont.

Love you all,
SOLO

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Posted December 10, 2014

2 responses to “forget holiday wish lists – this is what obstacle racers ACTUALLY want”

  1. Maggie Van den Bosch says:

    I just want good health; the rest we can train for!!

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