reserve the right to change your mind
Few months ago, I wrote a blog post that ruffled some feathers. It was called “Dear Obstacle Racers, Stop With The Race Recaps”.
Folks commented, and ranted, and wrote rebuttal articles. I was flattered. 🙂 I also knew that in a month, or in two months, or a year, I would invariably write (yet) another race recap.
Yep. I think race recaps are stupid. I will roll my eyes, and write one anyway. I will mention registration, and parking, and someone will rush to point out my own inconsistency to me.
I already know, but I will welcome your reminder regardless.
I am inconsistent.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself;
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
^^^ Perhaps, my favorite quote from Whitman.
Most of us are inconsistent. Most of us also pretend to be consistent, and suffer on the inside, faced with their own inconsistencies. I wrote about the tyranny of “used to”, and how we beat ourselves into the ground, when things just… change.
What makes more sense is to remain congruent, rather than consistent. Congruent with one’s values, beliefs, identity. To be congruent implies to be in agreement or in harmony, and thus, allows for change. As identity changes, behaviors change.
Things are fluid, ever changing.
We often find ourselves in the prison of the expectation that things will never change. That bodies will never change. That lives will never change. Relationships will never change. [I wrote about it here and here.]
Instead, bodies change. Lives change.
Wrinkles appear. Folds, scars.
We keep folding experiences into our bodies, into our minds.
This is why we are mesmerized by water, by fire.
The basic human draw to constant change.
I hate (bad) race recaps.
It does not mean that I won’t write another one.
It means that I try to write good ones.
I have reminded many coaches (gently) not to interrupt.
That does not mean that I don’t interrupt.
It means that I try not to interrupt.
My writing is one part record, two parts – reminders to self. Changing your mind is ok. Listen, when others are speaking, don’t interrupt. Don’t write dumbass race reports that do not matter. Write something that does.
Does this mean that your race recaps were not worth reading?
It does not matter.
What matters is that you read something today, and something resonates with you today. And maybe it will be a reminder for you tomorrow. Or maybe, it won’t.
When you are faced with a fork in the road – go right or go left, maybe you will take a different turn. Not necessarily less travelled one, may Robert Frost rest in peace, but just… different from the one you’d typically take.
Or maybe, you’d be more convinced than ever that your initial decision is the right one.
Or maybe, you will not take the fork at all, but pick up a spoon instead.