how to piss off a Spartan Chick


Apparently, all you have to do is to wear a swimsuit to a Spartan Race. A monokini to be exact…

Well, actually, no, that’s not quite enough. Because this photo left us cold. In more ways than one…

This one was… warmer. However, still no TNT.

You have to be a hot blonde and wear a swimsuit to a Spartan Race. Yeah, that’s it. And then just sit back and watch the fireworks.

In case you are wondering, here’s the infamous photo in question. It was pulled from the Spartan Race website oh-so-quickly.


Did I mention the fireworks?

1. The photo portrays Spartan Race as an easy race!
Actually, I think those running a Spartan Beast in a bunny costume are more guilty of that.

2. The photo is not bad ass enough!
Heee hee – ass!

3. What a dumb blonde with big boobs!
This one is almost too easy… When in doubt, always connect someone’s IQ with their bra size. Right on.

4. She looks too good!
I love this one. This is the definition of “you can’t win”.

5. She doesn’t represent the face of Spartan.
Umm… why not? Oh, because she is a dumb blonde with big boobs. Most women of Spartan are Phds with an A-cup. Got it.

6. Anyone can run with their boobs hanging out!
Actually, no. Not anyone.

Detailed analyses of this woman’s intellect as well as the authenticity of her various body parts, including the possible presence of silicone in the picture were all discussed.

The second wind of comments included her defenders, just as passionate as those who were bashing her minutes before.

  • She should be able to wear whatever she wants.
  • Feminism says it’s ok.
  • So what is she has fake boobs, maybe she’s had cancer! (Wait, what? Yes, really. Once you have a kitchen sink, throw it all in).

Men were inconspicuously silent.

At the end of the day, the conclusion seemed to be that while she can wear whatever she wants, it is unfortunate that the photographers have sexualized her so.

Sexualization of women is not ok!

Or something like that. Insert a pile of burning bras here.

Semantics to the rescue…

To sexualize → make sexual; endow with sex. Usually used with a negative connotation when sexuality is inappropriately imposed on a person.

Here… Let me show you what that looks like.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B. [Yes, she is topless].

Exhibit C… my favorite.


People… Ms. Monokini wasn’t sexualized by the media or the photographer. After all, she was one of the actual racers – this was not a staged photoshoot. She was sexualized by her own freaking outfit. And… unless she was dressed by a blind gnome in the dark… sexualized very much on purpose.

Again… let me show you.

Here… in all my Halloween glory…

and another…

Did you have any trouble sexualizing the images above? No?

[Sigh… given how old these photos are, I may need me some new ones. 🙂 Last two years have me covered in mud…]

How about this one?


Come on! Sexualize it! I dare you!

But I look so sexyyyyyyyy!

Yes, a sports bra and short shorts do not constitute any more clothing than a monokini. But, it’s not an inherently sexy outfit. Many find it sexy. Awesome.

Deep cleavage on a swimsuit – no, it’s not there out of convenience…

Let’s give her some credit, and assume that she is an adult, and if she is able to complete a Spartan Sprint under 90 minutes, then she also carries some capacity for independent action. That includes self-sexualizing (holy moly, is that a word?)…

P. S. Of course, there is a small matter of Ms. Monokini potentially breaking the official Spartan rules which state that “Clothing must be socially acceptable by local norms”.

Norms… schnorms…

In early 1900s, poor Annette (see below) was arrested for public indecency. What a slut!

Today, in (most of) the United States, exposing genitals and/or female nipples in a public place is illegal. Canada also prohibits indecent acts, however, toplessness is not an indecent act as of 1996. Breasts flopping in the wind unite!

Given the monokini uproar, it may be a hint that the outfit was going against those said norms. However, racing in a sports bra and short (and I mean short) shorts never seemed to offend anyone… Hmmm…

Good luck defining that shapeless semantic mess.

Signing off,


Semantics is the study of meaning, and the relationship between words and what they stand for. This is a post in my Semantics series.

“All our work, our whole life is a matter of semantics, because words are the tools with which we work, the material out of which laws are made, out of which the Constitution was written. Everything depends on our understanding of them.” [Felix Frankfurter]

Posted June 3, 2013

16 responses to “how to piss off a Spartan Chick”

  1. Chantal Sheehan says:

    I enjoyed your truth!

  2. nancyfrancis says:

    Things like this make me laugh. Unless she did, indeed, get dressed by a blind gnome she liked picked her outfit because she knew she looked hot in it – and good for her! How dare Spartan use an actual race photo if the person looks sexual while racing. Haha.

    I, on the other hand, plan on wearing something that 1. Won’t look/feel like Sausage Casing and 2. Is practical for all the whining and bemoaning I’ll be doing while trying to pull myself over obstacles. When I signed up for Warrior Dash I don’t think I was thinking about the fact that while, yes, I can run – I generally have zero upper body strength. Maybe I should go pantsless then no one would notice me skipping EVERY SINGLE OBSTACLE. good plan?

    • Solo says:

      haha, Nancy, just careful you don’t actually end up classifying for indecent exposure. Although what a fun arrest that would be. 🙂

  3. Captain says:

    “Men were inconspicuously silent.” … that is because no matter how considered a response a man might give, its usually (always?) the wrong answer 🙂 [And I already have enough burpees to do as it is, without failing that obstacle]

    • Solo says:

      I think you don’t give yourself (and men) enough credit, Captain.

      • Captain says:

        That’s not at all what I’m saying, I’m definitely capable of giving a considered and balanced response, I’m speaking more of the dynamics of such heated discussions and many internet discussions in general. I’m more inclined to respond in person, if it’s appropriate.

  4. tormuse says:

    Well, speaking as a man, I’m gonna go out on a limb and be a bit more conspicuous. 🙂

    If people want to sexualize something, they will. If the internet has taught me anything, it’s that there are fetishes for everything you can imagine… and some things you can’t imagine… and some things you wish you could unsee… 😉 Any image taken from the Spartan races is perfectly capable of being sexualized in people’s minds. Yes, even the one you dared us to sexualize, Solo; at least in that picture, unlike the Hallowe’en ones, you’re showing your beautiful, winning smile. 🙂

    That being said, I’d say the choice of photo does seem like a “conspicuous” attempt on the part of the photographer and the organizers of the site to sexualize the event. But is that really a problem? I can sort of see both sides of the issue; that the women of Sparta want to be taken seriously and don’t want to be objectified and maybe they feel that if one women is being objectified, then they all will be and will cease to be taken seriously… but on the other hand, I favour the idea of sex-positivity, that consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want that doesn’t harm anyone and if this woman wants to celebrate her body with revealing clothing, what right does anyone have to put a damper on her personal choice? The only “objection” I have to it is possible practical considerations like how muddy the American flag she’s wearing is probably going to get. (I imagine it isn’t going to remain that bright red, white, and blue for long!) 🙂

    The bottom line, as I see it, is that the criticism of the photo and of the site for putting up the photo is overall damaging to women’s rights, freedoms, sense of autonomy, and self-esteem. If we start policing what is and isn’t appropriate to show based on choice of clothing, body shape, and even hair colour, then where does it stop? The concept of “social norms” is a very muddy topic that is highly subjective, but in my opinion, trying to make this woman feel ashamed of herself by condemning her photo’s inclusion on the site is what is really “inappropriate” here.

    • Solo says:

      Thanks for a thoughtful comment (as always), G.! Yes, I definitely agree with your feedback regarding sexualizing anything that walks, flies and doesn’t move. If it exists, there is a fetish about it. And even if it doesn’t exist… Hello, centaurs! 🙂

      As for the American flag, I’m just tempted to run a race in a Canadian flag now. Commando style, holding it proudly above my head. LOL

      • tormuse says:

        Do it with a smile and it’ll be super sexy! LOL! 😀

        On a semi-related note, looking at the picture again and the way she’s posed, looking down at people, makes me imagine some kind of B-movie remake of “Attack of the 50 foot woman.” Her clothes were suddenly too small and the only thing big enough to fit her was an American flag conveniently nearby. 😛

  5. Leigh Roberts Duquette says:

    Bravo for taking this topic head on. Love your commentary.

  6. Dave C says:

    Also following on fb – but a really well written article. Thanks for covering it! (And I love the Lara Croft outfit…Nice) oh and ps that Dove ad is possibly the creepiest thing ever. Yeeeesh >shudder<

  7. Captain says:

    I imagine though, that (perhaps) she picked the outfit no differently than the guys in the tuxes, to presumably add a bit of light-hearted sexy fun, and draw some attention, while at the race. So sure, she sexualized herself.

    In witnessing it, we would likely momentarily flirt with (or, ummm, lust over!?) the scene, and also laugh at the absurdity of it, just like the absurdity of many of the non-athletic outfits… and then move on with our race day.

    But while the photographer definitely captured the *fun* of the men’s tux ‘outfits’, they unquestionably chose to frame her shot to maximize the *sexuality* of it; in a way that perhaps fails to communicate the original intent.

    So she certainly isn’t a victim of her clothing choice, but that doesn’t mean the photographer didn’t take a shot that sexualized her beyond her original intent (which I have no way of knowing, but seems reasonable)

  8. What a thoroughly delightful and enjoyable rant!…lol. Unfortunately I’ve been very busy lately and only just got around to reading your post…let alone whatever online viralosity (I can make up words too!) it generated. I have to take exception though to your casual reference to blind gnomes. As a member of the BGADL (Blind Gnome Anti-Defamation League), I certainly hope you realize that not every poor choice of attire is due to a blind gnome!

    Seriously though, I don’t really worry much about people with that “look at me” syndrome. My only pet peeve about any sort of costume or what you might call inappropriate attire, is that it feels to me like the person doesn’t really take the race seriously…and I do like to think of these as serious challenges. Much to my dismay though, most of these people also run faster than me…so I tend to keep my mouth shut on the subject!….mostly….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Something is wrong.
Instagram token error.
Load More


SOLO on Facebook