People of Ossington seem to wear plad shirts and skinny pants, and prefer their coffee slightly acidic and ethically sourced. Although I bet, if you were to ask any of these decaf Americano-chugging, into-their-Apple-laptops-squinting human beings what the hell ethically sourced means, you wouldn’t get a straight answer.
Baristas wear black clothing and a slightly bored expression. Unsweetened almond milk kind of expression. Facial piercings are optional, but strongly encouraged.
The layout of this coffeeshop is narrow, and long. The coffee connoisseurs, occupying the few tables look like they have not moved for hours, and the books piled on top of the coffee table are filled with art I do not understand.
Cookies are available for purchase. Althought it’s never your run-of-the-mill chocolate chip. You’re way more likely to find ginger molasses with lemon grind, and, of course, vegan brownies – one part suspicious, two parts pretentious.
Nothing resembles real food, as every edible item is either sweet, liquid or green. Or all of the above.
“We usually use whole milk”, barista explains to yet another skinny-jean wearing patron. “But we can also use skim, soy, almond, or any combination of these”. The patron examines her iced coffee from underneath a pair of oversized glasses.
Pondering my feature bean brewed coffee with plain old cream, I immediately regret not ordering a latte with a blend of skim, soy and almond milks. Just because.
I’m sure it would be magical.
Maybe next time.
Although I’ll have to buy a pair of skinny jeans first.