40 reasons why obstacle racing is like kinky sex

By SOLO

Together. In the woods. Decked out in spandex. Breathing heavily. Glistening with sweat. Upright. On your stomach. On your back. On your side. Hanging off various fixtures. Exchanging exhausted, but happy smiles at the end.

You will never look at obstacle racing the same way again…

Here are 40 reasons why obstacle racing is like kinky sex:

1. safety first
2. warm up (aka foreplay) is important

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3. you will get dirty

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4. swearing is often involved
5. the more, the merrier

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6. it’s messy
7. coming first or last does not really matter as long as you finish

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8. wetter is better

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9. it’s a good way to meet people
10. pain is not necessarily a bad thing

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11. if you are not tired at the finish, you are not doing it right

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12. breathing and moaning are encouraged

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13. it relieves stress
14. you are starving in the end
15. you get better with practice
16. you quickly bond with strangers

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17. faster is not necessarily better
18. anyone can do it, but not everyone will
19. there may be tears
20. it’s full of surprises
21. sometimes things get pretty technical
22. you never know what’s coming next
23. swinging may be involved

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24. you either love it or hate it
25. you may start together, but at the end it’s ultimately a solo performance
26. you go at your own pace
27. best teammates will ensure you make it to the finish
28. you may get dizzy
29. you may slip and slide
30. you may get a cramp in a random body part
31. you may end up with cuts and bruises
32. eventually you get into gear and paraphernalia
33. sharp objects may be involved

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34. there is certain risk of injury, but the fun is worth it
35. It may not be a daily thing, but you need it fairly regularly to take the edge off
36. in the wild, your true nature comes out
37. yes, the barbed wire is real

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38. others simply do not understand
39. it hurts, but feels sooo good
40. flexibility helps

and a bonus:

41. it’s all about who you do it with

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YOUR TURN:
What’s your favorite from the list above? What did I miss?

Signing off,
Solo

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Posted July 29, 2013

11 responses to “40 reasons why obstacle racing is like kinky sex”

  1. Joe N says:

    Costumes are optional

  2. johnny waite says:

    What a fantastic spin! Usually I’m not stiff until AFTER a race, but this changes everything.
    Question … what would be a good OCR “safe word”?

  3. Kelly z says:

    7, 10, 15 & 38

    I will not look at it the same way again!

  4. There were a few that were my favourite but this one was the best for me..
    25. you may start together, but at the end it’s ultimately a solo performance

    I loved the spin on this. Made me laugh! Love it! Great job! Thanks for the Hug by the way at the Beast in Ottawa.

    • admin says:

      You are so welcome. 🙂 Always more where it came from…

      Glad you enjoyed the post. Spread the love. (ha!)

  5. Edgar Landa says:

    This is awesome!

    I would add: You will definitely get BANGED (up) quite a bit.

    This list reminded of the post I wrote for my blog last year after finishing The Death Race. Check it out: Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Sex I Was Reminded About At Death Race

    http://mymuddyshoes.wordpress.com/2012/07/03/everything-i-ever-needed-to-know-about-sex-i-was-reminded-about-at-death-race/

  6. Carolyn Harrop says:

    It’s not something everyone has the courage to attempt, but it’s SOOO worth it!

  7. […] Liked this post? You may enjoy my review of yet another scandalous movie The Interview, as well as the 40 reasons why obstacle racing is like kinky sex. […]

  8. […] a blogger, I have never really shied away from controversy. I have compared obstacle racing to kinky sex, my coaching clients to Jesus, and detox pushing food bloggers to Adolf Hitler. I have poked fun at […]

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